over the cliff

…as what people think you said.”

That’s an aphorism from my new favorite book, Vectors by James Richardson. I loved it when I read it, now I love it even more since it opened the door for me to finally get my 9 AM class to talk.

Today was the midterm. Only no one asked me about it on Wednesday so I felt pretty crummy expecting them to remember that it was today (I know I’m too nice, but it comes from a deep seated fear that I’m not fulfilling expectations). My 1 PM class did ask me about it, and requested that it be some sort of reflective paper asking the question:

Why do we love this class and Ms. Hel Bell

Well as lovely as that would be for my ego… I don’t think I could really justify it to my superiors. But I did think that a reflective paper would be a good idea. It’s a skill that you really need but most people resist. So I wrote a bunch of Richardson’s aphorisms on the board… gave a 10 minute rambling spiel about reflection and how it shouldn’t read like a schedule and told them this:

Your midterm is in two parts. For the next 35 minutes you and the class will discuss reflection, reflective writing, and strive to come up with a metaphor for writing. Tonight you will write a half page to a page analysis of the class discussion.

I also told them that I wasn’t going to talk–of course I broke that rule a bunch of times but I couldn’t help it. But they DID actually start discussing the topic. Took them a couple of minutes and me saying “Only 5 people have an A so far” to warm up… but it did turn into a somewhat successful exercise.

Which I desperately needed. I needed one class where I didn’t constantly think “They hate me they hate me they hate me. They’re judging me. They think I’m a moron who shouldn’t be teaching. They’re staring. Why are they staring??? They know I’m a fraud and I can’t teach and they hate me they hate me they hate me…”

Crazy you say? Well just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.

I know I’ve used that title before (hence the either) but it is one of my favorites.

Anyway, he says I should post something. And when Oliver says jump… well I laugh and ignore him. But I do need to update.

So… what to say.

New Orleans is still broken. Pictures are here. I read a book today. In the Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter series. Oliver is now judging me.

But I also read a poetry collection this morning and wrote a review of it which you can find here.

And I also had to wake up early and meet with students… you can see me rejoicing here.

I got pulled over for speeding in Missouri the other night. Totally not my fault. I was following Mike (my uncle) and he was speeding so I was simply keeping up. And I was only going 9 mph over the speed limit. Totally reasonable, don’t you think? Anyway, the cop only gave me a warning but it was not a pleasant experience. You know when you’re nervous and people ask you normal questions like ‘Is this your current address?’ and you start spewing out random information like ‘I once stole a pencil in 3rd grade. My right eye is smaller than my left. I think babies are ugly.’

Yeah.

So that’s my life. And there was much rejoicing.