over the cliff

No. They can’t.

I’ve seen it advertised, this new show on VH1 where they take celebrities and make them sing. It’s like an American Idol meets the Surreal Life. Or something.

You would think that they’d find celebrities who claimed to be able to sing. But I think they chose people whom they knew could not distinguish between a C and an F# just because they thought it’d be funnier. Maybe. I guess.

And since they can’t sing, and it’s so obvious how horrible they are (think of cats… with colds… mating… near a microphone with bad feedback), then the judges should just RIP THEM TO SHREDS! But they DON’T! Even the host is like “I would turn gay for you”.

I wonder if there was a way to vote against all of them.

Oh yeah… by turning the TV off.

*click*

Okay it is.

He’s posted like… 10 blog entries in 12 hours and I haven’t posted anything save “uhh… yeah I’m gonna make your life a pain now…” And then he goes and yells at me. *sniff* He’s so mean…

But what is there to update?

I’m in school. I write. I revel in the sadistic pleasures of teaching. Just not too much going on.

Le sigh.

Have you ever noticed how many good actors are in really bad movies? The other day I was flipping channels and came across The Haunting. Catherine Zeta Jones and Liam Neesen (whose name I just butchered, but if he cares he can come tell me in person) were in it. I mean… what the hell. Were they blackmailed with pictures of the two of them having illicit relations with a barnyard animal?

And then there’s Sean Connery in League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. So sad.

Now if you’ll excuse me, my cat is trying to kill a fake mouse and I must supervise lest he break something. Like himself.

I downloaded a theme from Alex King’s website (so ignore the links at the top). I may keep it, I may not… haven’t decided yet.

Also: You now have to register in order to post comments. Sorry about that, but I really really really really really really really hate spam bots.

I have declared war on the spam bots. Drastic measures have been taken.

I’ll fix the settings/colors of this blog later.

An Old Joke

Attention all St. Catherine’s Boarding Alumnae.

It has come to my attention that they are closing the boarding department of St. Catherine’s School, Richmond VA. I have created a yahoo group for boarders so that we may stay better informed and in the hope that we may be able to do something about it. Please Join:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/boardingsaintsandsinners/

This book makes me feel physically ill. But in a good way. Let me explain.

So Oliver mentions Talyn and links me to the editor’s LJ (I’d link to it but I lost it) and the editor is going on and on about what a sexy spine it has and how the editor isn’t a Fantasy editor but just fell in love with it…

So I finished Hallowed Hunt and rewarded myself with Talyn. I didn’t open it until Sunday night, late. I figured I’d read for an hour and then go to sleep. Well within the first 4 pages I realized that I was reading something that I’d love. Within 20 pages I realized that this was the best novel I’d ever read in my entire life and was thisfrigginclose to calling up Oliver so that I could read it to him over the phone. I am not kidding. Ask Oliver. He got a bunch of IMs and then a text message about it.

Now to make a tiny admission, I haven’t finished it yet. I’m actually scared to. I have a lot to do this week so I can’t find the time to dedicate to the novel, and I also don’t want to start reading it at night and then not sleep so I can finish it… I also don’t want to finish it. I have a hard enough time with books once they’re over that I don’t know WHAT I’m going to do with myself once I’m done this.

Now about the physically ill part… this isn’t an epic, cross country romp to save the world… Some of the trappings are there… two nations at war, magic users are an integral part of the military’s defense, and mysterious dangerous foreigners… but then around page… 70? I can’t remember… the war ends… Talyn’s life changes… you can just feel the noose tightening around her neck, her family, everything…. You can sense the danger as if it were as physical as the pages between your fingers… It’s… it’s… like nothing I’ve ever read before.

Actually that’s not entirely true… I got the same sense from Riddlemaster by Patricia McKillip but the two novels are nothing alike except for their effect on me.

Anyway, moral of the story: Go buy it. Now. Read it. Seriously. Right now. You heard me! Shoo!

I have this bad habit with reading. If I start a novel, I’ll devote a good 2 hours to get through the first 90 pages or so, but if it doesn’t grab me… then I’ll put it down never to touch it again. The sad thing is, this happens with supposedly great books. Like… Game of Thrones by George R. Martin. I mean sure the prose was well wrought and there were some interesting characters but… there was just no magical thread pulling me into the book, strangling me, forcing me to not breathe until I had finished.

It almost happened again with Hallowed Hunt by Lois McMaster Bujold. Sure she’s tied for winning the most number of Hugos. Big deal. The first 90 pages were dull. Dull dull dull. Which was strange since there was some really cool things happening. The pacing was slow, there was no urgency. No mystery.

I almost set it aside to forget. But I got a shipment from Amazon in yesterday in which I recieved The Forgotten Beasts of Eld by Patricia McKillip. I’ve wanted to read it ever since I finished Riddlemaster Trilogy a couple of years ago. I knew the moment I picked up that novel, I’d forget the other. And quite frankly I’m tired of having to answer “Errr… never finished it” when Oliver asks me about books.

So I picked it up last night around 9 or 10. I figured I’d read for an hour or two, then go to bed. If I just kept devoting the time to reading it, I’d eventually trudge through it.

But it got interesting! I am not a fan of political novels. People running around conspiring for the next kingship just doesn’t interest me (which is why poor Martin is a bore in my mind). I didn’t even realize this until last night. Sure I’ve read novels where political machinations were important, but that’s not why I kept reading. And that’s why I was so utterly bored with Ingrey’s and Ijad’s (don’t even get me started on how confusing that was. Lois, if you’re reading PLEASE DON’T USE THE SAME LETTER TO NAME YOUR MAIN CHARACTERS! IT MAKE HEL CONFUSED!), supposed plight. She was just some potentially embarassing witness to a prince’s naughty habits that would jeopardize the next Hallowed Kingship election.

Yawn.

The fact that she had an animal spirit was mildy entertaining, but not really.

Enter Wencel. Ingrey’s cousin. Wencel oozed danger, promised intrigue, and started hinting at the mystery I needed. After that it was just a race to the end. I finally finished around 4 AM which I’ll regret later because it’ll completely throw off my sleeping patterns… but it’s nice to find a novel that makes you feel starved for the next page. Next chapter. Next book.

P.S. There were a lot of things that reminded me of Dune. ‘Weirding voice’ in particular. Maybe that’s from some work before Dune of which I am unfamiliar. Would anyone care to englighten me?

A parody of the song published in Thursday’s edition of the Times Picayune.

With apologies to Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein . . .
Water is swarming with venomous species
Elegant swimming pools teeming with feces
The rash on my haunches is starting to sting
These are the things that Katrina brings.
Houses are burning and levees are breeching
Into my water the sewage is seeping
Horrible odors awaft in the breeze
Hoping I don’t catch a dreadful disease
Helicopters flying and criminals shooting
I called the police but they’re too busy looting
National Guard troops all over the town
Why did it take Bush two weeks to dump Brown?
First the Dome leaked
Then the Dome reeked
Damn, the fridge smells bad!
New Orleans covered in green, purple and gold
It’s not Mardi Gras, it’s MOLD!
(slowly)
Boats on the rooftops and lawns full of branches
President hiding on big Texas ranches
Blue tarps on houses as far as I see
My favorite things are debris!

Full Text