over the cliff

If you read this, please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me. It can be anything you want — good or bad — BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE. When you’re finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON’T ACTUALLY remember about you.

Interviewer: Alex Wilson

1. Name three writers whose work or careers you’d like to emulate.

Isabel Allende - whose prose is exquisite and she has the uncanny ability to create characters who are despicable yet lovable. Patricia McKillip because she also has the tightest prose I’ve ever read and she managed to take the classic, clichГ© hero quest and turn it into something incredible. And J.K.Rowling because… well… her books are just plain fun.

2. In your bio and in your poetry, you write about your car accident with humor. Do you think you were amused at all at the time, or was that a perspective that you gained in the years since? How did writing (before and/or after the accident) help shape that perspective?

Once I figured out that I wasn’t dead, or that I wasn’t going to bleed to death, I immediately started looking at the experience as ‘Ooooh I have a new story to tell!’ The day of the accident, and especially the moment I actually got a glimpse of what my head looked like in the reflection of the x-ray machine, I was more intrigued by the physicality than the possible emotional trauma of ‘Oh dear god I almost died…’ I was fascinated by what the laceration looked like, what parts of my head had lost feeling, etc. Over the next few days when I was faced with relaying the story of the accident to friends and family members, my brother and I started looking for the humorous stories so as to distract everyone. My brother liked to tell people that I actually went through the accident fine, but when the car caught on fire, he pushed my head through the window to make our escape. It was just easier to make jokes than to let our aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandmother sit there and look at my head with an ‘Awwww…’ expression. And I knew that I was going to have a nasty scar for a while, so rather than worrying about what people would think… I embraced it. It actually progressed to the point that I was disappointed when people didn’t notice my scar. I guess I’m just a freak like that.

In terms of writing, even though I already had developed a distanced perspective from the incident… writing helped solidify it. The biggest thing writing did was it gave credance to what I was telling my brother in that the accident was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. He wishes he could go back in time and not have the accident. I don’t. Again, I guess I’m just a freak like that.

3. Tell one of the stories you didn’t tell in your bio: cave diving, coming
out to society, or the Hungarian bath houses.

Well I actually came out to society twice. I made my debut in North Carolina my sophomore year, and then in New Olreans my junior year. In NC there were about 200 girls since it was state-wide, and at the end of the presentation we did a gigantic may pole dance. And no I’m not kidding, though I wish I were. After that there was a dance at the country club and my father was nice enough to provide my date and me with a bottle of Scotch. That was the night that I learned that empty stomach + Johnny Walker red = Too Happy Hel. There was a photographer taking everyone’s picture as they went into the country club and so there’s this picture of me with my date on one side and my brother on the other basically holding me up. I didn’t do anything too terribly embarassing, thank god.

The next year I had the same escort and this time it was his turn to get completely trashed. I don’t think he’d ever seen an open bar before… My mother asked him what he was drinking and he said ‘Whiskey sours’ and she told him that was an old lady’s drink. He didn’t think that was as funny as I did…

Now for the Debutante Club presentation in New Orleans, the men have to wear tails. My father actually owned a pair but my mother had to rent a pair for my brother. When she went to Pearlis to pick them up, the man told her a story that I thought was pretty funny so I’ll share it here.

There was a girl who went to an out of state school who was asked to be presented by the Debutante Club and she asked a boy from her school to be her escort. She told him the dress was ‘White tie and tails’ and so he went out and rented such. The day before the presentation the girl’s mother decided to check to make sure he had what he needed and discovered, to her horror, that he had gotten exactly what he had been told, “White tie and white tails.” She called up the man at Pearlis nearly in tears exclaiming, “He’ll look like Fred Astaire!”

4. What’s your life five years from now?

I’m praying it involves teaching Creative Writing at either a college or private high school. Some place either close to home or somewhere I have family would be nice.

And it’d be cool to have published at least one volume of poetry and a bunch of really fantastic short stories.

Being ridiculously rich and famous would also be great.

5. (Interviewee’s choice–answer one or two or all three of the following:)
So Are y’all a daisy now?
OR
Did you end up getting honors credit for your feminism major?
OR
How did you find out about my site?

As far as I know St. Catherine’s is still using ‘Saints sans image’ as the mascot

Haha, no I didn’t

Rumormill at Speculations

Taken from Alex Wilson’s Blog:

1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”

2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.

3. You will update your blog/xanga/livejournal with the answers to the questions and leave the answers as comments here (or at least provide a link).

4. You will include this explanation/ruleset and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

(If by chance a bunch of people want to be interviewed, I reserve the right to only ask questions of the first two or three.)

—Describe/Tell—
—[four words that sum you up]: Shy, self-conscious, shy, and shy
—[jewelry worn daily]: None… when I do wear jewelry it’s usually gold
—[wallet]: Red Brighton leather billfold
—[shoes]: Over the summer I wore nothing but flip flops… right now I normally wear tennis shoes
—[cologne/perfume]: Kate Spade
—[clothing you have on]: Ice Pink sweater
—[ready to move on]: Maybe I should admit here that I’m deleting the overly stupid questions like ‘hairbrush’. Who in the fuck asks that?

—MIXED QUESTIONS—
—[wishing]: I had a better work ethic
—[after this]: I should sleep… but I probably won’t
—[talking to]: Kris, Noki, Oliver
—[some favorite movies]: Auntie Mame, Pocketful of Miracles, The Princess Bride, Monty Python Holy Grail, LotR, Star Wars (the originals)
—[something you’re looking forward to]: South Africa
—[last thing you ate]: Boursin Potatoes
—[something your’e afraid of]: Relationships
—[cities you don’t mind moving too]: New Orleans
—[something -or someone- you wish you could understand better]: Myself… that’s a stupid answer isn’t it. Well get over it.
—[miss someone you haven’t seen in a long time]: Katie and Meredith
—[ready to move on]: Sure I guess

—DO YOU..—
—[like candles]: Yes.
—[like company]: Yes
—[believe in soulmates]: I’d like to
—[believe in love at first sight]: I’d like to
—[believe in forgiveness]: What a weird question
—[want to get married]: Yes and No but don’t ask me to explain. I don’t know
—[want to have kids]: No and Yes but don’t ask me to explain. I don’t know
—[adopt kids]: Uhhh… eh

—IN THE LAST 24 HOURS HAVE YOU..—
—[cried]: Probably, I cry often
—[bought something]: A movie ticket?
—[gotten sick]: No
—[sang]: Probably
—[eaten]: Yes
—[been kissed]: No.
—[felt stupid]: Sure
—[wanted to tell someone you love them, but you didn’t]: I don’t love anyone
—[met someone new]: Nope
—[moved on]: From…?
—[talked to an ex]: No… I did think about Adam earlier today though… weird
—[talked to someone you have a crush on]: I wish… but I don’t have Orlando Bloom’s number
—[had a serious talk]: No
—[missed someone]: Yeah
—[hugged someone]: No
—[argued with a parent(s)]: N
—[dreamt about someone you can’t be with]: No
—[ready to move on]: Sure

—SOCIAL LIFE—
—[best girl friend(s)]: Sarah, Mary, Meredith, Katie, Kris
—[best guy friend(s)]: My brother, Oliver I guess even though he keeps picking on me
—[boyfriend/girlfriend]: No
—[hobbies]: Writing, reading, I used to SCUBA dive a lot but I haven’t much since the accident
—[pager/cell]: Cell
—[are the you the center of attention or a wallflower..be honest]: Depends on my mood… and how much liquor I’ve had
—[car you drive]: GMC Envoy
—[would you rather be with friends or on a date]: With friends… boys make me nervous
—[job]: SCUBA Instructor/Student
—[attend church]: Yuck
—[like being around people]: Yes
—[ready to move on]: YES… how long IS this thing?

—PERSONAL—
—[who is your role model]: OSC
—[pet peeves]: When people interrupt/talk over eachother… it makes me sick to my stomach sometimes
—[ever liked someone you can’t be with]: Probably
—[ever lied to your best friend]: I don’t think so…
—[ever wanted to get revenge on someone cause they hurt you]: Who hasn’t?
—[cried over the opposite sex]: No
—[rather have a realationship or a friendship]: Friendship… hmmm… friendship with benefits… is that an option?
—[your favorite physical appearence on you]: Don’t have one… and that’s a weirdly worded question
—[are you happy with yourself]: On occasion
—[are you happy with your life]: At the moment, yes
—[but are you happy]: Occasionally
—[what plans do you have for the future]: Teaching certificate, MFA, job, publish, become rich, famous, retire at 35
—[who do you really hate]: I don’t hate anyone
—[who’s your least favorite family member]: Couldn’t say
—[who’s your most trustworthy family member]: My father
—[your deepest secret]: This one time… at band camp… Hmm… secret… secret… tell you what, as a reward to people who actually read this thing, you may ask any personal question you want, and I’ll answer it.
—[ever liked avril before everyone hated her]: That fake punk wannabe? Ew
—[embarrasing moment]: My cousin once told Eli Manning that I had a crush on him. It was terribly traumatic. (I was 5)
—[liked the quiz]: I like that it’s over

Got this from Leeny’s Xanga. She is the queen of blog quizzes.

4 THINGS THAT SCARE YOU
1. Being alone forever
2. Sea Wasps (type of jellyfish)
3. Relationships (please ignore the contradiction with fear #1)
4. Rejection

4 THINGS ON YOUR DESK
1. Lavendar candle
2. OSC’s Ender’s Game
3. Diet Coke
4. Poems in various states of editing

4 THINGS YOU’RE DOING RIGHT NOW
1. Filling out this quiz
2. Being picked on by Oliver
3. Making a list of the other random crap I need to pack up
4. Trying to think of a fourth thing I’m doing

4 THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
1. Go back to Prague, Vienna, London, and visit Scotland
2. Win a presitgious writing award. Hugo, Nebula, Rhysling… I’m not picky.
3. Fall so deeply in love I can barely breathe
4. Buy a townhouse on St. Charles

4 THINGS YOU SAY THE MOST
1. Whatever
2. Hahahaha (or some variant)
3. [Insert name], I love you… never change.
4. Facetious (not really but I love that word)

4 THINGS YOU WATCHED ON TV AS A KID
1. Fraggle Rock
2. Star Trek
3. X-Files
4. Cheers

4 THINGS YOU WISH YOU HAD
1. (I’m copying Leeny) An acceptance letter to UNCW
2. My Strange Horizons contract
3. A work ethic
4. Talent

4 THINGS YOU’D NEVER WEAR
1. Stilleto Heels
2. Leather
3. Button down blouse (my boobs are too big, they don’t button right)
4. Tie-dye

4 THINGS YOU’RE THINKING ABOUT RIGHT NOW
1. MFA Applications
2. Oliver’s randomness
3. Strange Horizon contract
4. Ummm

4 THINGS YOU DID TODAY
1. Played with my kitty (whoa that sounded dirty)
2. Helped Oliver get his bed
3. Saw Phantom of the Opera (I don’t recommend it)
4. Caught up on QC

4 THINGS YOU RECENTLY BOUGHT
1. DSL service
2. Liquor
3. Kitty cat
4. Bookcase

4 BANDS/ARTISTS MOST PEOPLE DON’T KNOW YOU LIKE
1. Bone Thugs and Harmony
2. Bitch and Animal
3. Miles Davis
4. Crisis (my Uncle’s band)

Leeny’s Personality Quiz thingie

ONE: START |
–Are you ready?– I'm starting aren't I?
–Today's Date– August 16th
–Time Started– 2:16 AM, yes I am an insomniac. Sometimes.

TWO: PERSONAL |
–Name– Helena
–Nicknames– Hel
–Age and Birthday– 22, 10/29/81.
–Eyes– Brown
–Natural Hair Color– Dark brown
–Hair Color Dark brown. Aren't I dull?
–Pets– Zuzu, Blue Merle Sheltie… she's so preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeecious!!!
–Location– New Bern

THREE: LIKES AND DISLIKES |
–Fast Food– Like.
–Heavy Metal– Ummm… no comment
–Cell Phones– Like. But I don't like to answer them.
–Mexican– Like.
–Strawberry Ice Cream– Yum.
–Snakes– As long as they're not poisonous, love 'em. If they're poisonus, I like them to be behind big thick things like glass. Or walls.
–Heights– Like
–Singing– Love
–Babies– Yuck
–Reality TV– Bleh
–Eminem– Ermmm… I plead the fifth
–Computers– …Well I'm on one.

FOUR: MUSIC |
–Rap or Rock– Rock.
–Rap or Pop– Pop.
–Rap or Classical– Classical.
–Rap or Country– Country
–Rock or Pop– Rock.
–Rock or Classical– Classical
–Rock or Country– Rock
–Pop or Classical– Classical
–Pop or Country– Pop.
–Classical or Country– Classical
–Favorite Band– Oh dear… too many. I'll go with Flogging Molly for now
–Favorite Song– Too many again. Moonlight Sonata
–Favorite Genre– Classical probably, or Swing/Jazz
–Favorite Album– One of Jimmy Buffett's
–Least Favorite Band– Avril Lavigne's… *shudder*
–Least Favorite Song– Anything by Avril
–Least Favorite Genre– R&B *shudders violently* MAKE IT GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
–Least Favorite Album– Damned if I know

FIVE: FAMILY |
–Members– Blah, don't feel like listing
–Do you get along with your parents?– Of course
–Does your family understand you?– HAH
–Who is the best cook?– Mom
–Who is the worst cook?– Will
–Who is the funniest?– Will
–Who is the least funny?– My dad
–Who do you identify most with?– Will
–Would you trade them if you could?– What could I get? J/k

SIX: FAVORITES |
–Hobby– Writing
–Sport– Horseback Riding
–Movie– The Princess Bride
–Store– Barnes & Noble is my idea of heaven
–Fast Food Resturant– Wendy's
–Sit-Down Resturant– Commander's
–TV Show– X-Files
–Music Video– Closer
–Pet– Zuzu!
–Color– Blood red
–Number– Four
–Letter– WTF?
–Grade– I'm not in school!! WOOHOO!
–Teacher– Cooley
–Subject– Creative Writing
–Thing to Say– "Good story Hel"

–Quote– "Life is like a box of nuets. Sometimes you get what you want, sometimes it leads you right over a cliff.
–Drink– Chardonnay
–Sin– Lust
–Smell– Jasmine Vanilla. Yummy
–Shape– WTF? Triangle I guess
–Shoes– Strappy High-heeled Sandals… I love my toes. My mother says their weird, but I like to show them off because I think they're cool (second toe is longer than the first- someone told me that it either means I'm intelligent and/or good in bed)

SEVEN: HAVE YOU EVER… |
–Punched a hole in the wall?– Nope. I'm non-violent. ():)
–Hit somebody?– My brother, the sweetie He was teaching me how to throw a punch and let me use his upper arm as a target
–Had sex?– Not yet
–Fallen in love?– I plead the fifth
–Kissed your pet?– Of course!
–Eaten escargot?– Ewww
–Eaten sushi?– Ewww
–Applied to be on a reality show?– Yes *hides in shame*
–Fallen down stairs?– Who hasn't?
–Fallen up stairs?– …How?
–Changed who you are to impress somebody?– Goodness I hope not
–Tripped in front of a room full of people?– If I did, I've erased the memory
–Misspelled the word "misspelled"?– Nope
–Snuck into a club or bar?– Of course not! I'm a good girl ^^
–Pierced something you don't want your mom to know about?– Owww… no.
–Gotten locked into a public building?– No
–Found more than $1 on the ground?– I wish
–Gone swimming in the ocean?– Tons of times. Damn salt ><
–Played strip [insert game here]?– Hmmm… sadly no.
–Caused a riot?– Nope
–Stalked somebody?– Debutantes do not stalk.

EIGHT: WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU… |
–Kissed somebody?– April or Mayish
–Dyed your hair?– Couple of years ago
–Found money on the ground?– February or March
–Daydreamed?– This afternoon
–Smiled at a total stranger?– I smile at everyone, all the time. So probably today.
–Spoke to a total stranger?– Today
–Told somebody you loved them?– Yesterday
–Petted a dog?– Today.
–Lied to somebody's face?– Debutantes do not lie either.
–Went to Wal-Mart?– BLASPHEMY!!!! *hiss* WAL MART IS THE DEVIL!
–Cussed at somebody?– Does cussing at the TV count? If so, then today probably.
–Wished on a star?– Oh dear… it was Mardi Gras… last Mardi Gras I went as a child… so… 9 years ago?
–Mowed a lawn?– Manual labor? Surely you jest.
–Laughed until your sides hurt?– Too long ago. Probably sometime this summer, during a DM chat.
–Ate an entire box of chocolates?– Never
–Took a test?– Errr… right now.

NINE: RANDOM |
–Righty or lefty?– Right.
–Weaknesses– Delusions of grandeur
–Fears– Failure. Cockroaches. Extinction Level Events.
–What's the first thing you think when you wake up?– Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
–Do you get motion sick?– On the boat, yes. But it's the smell of diesel that does it. Not the ocean.
–Do you like thunderstorms?– LOVE them.
–Hidden Talent– I am untalented. Not really, I'm just really lazy and don't want to think.
–How do you want to die?– Hmmm… In my sleep I guess. Or a heart attack in the middle of doing something I really, really love. Like cave diving, or horseback riding. But then again I don't want to die anyplace inconvenient. Don't want to be a bother to the person moving my body, you know.
–How many scars do you have?– Lots. Couple on my left arm, self inflicted. One big one on my forehead, brother inflicted, and a few on my leg (damn saddle rub)
–Do you believe in love at first sight?– Lust, yes. Love? Lust leads to love I guess sometimes.
–What crazy profession would you try for a day?– Astronaut

TEN: DONE |
–Are you glad this is over?– Yes. Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy
–Time Finished– 2:38 Damn that was long.

</lj-cut>

First name: Helena
o. Middle name: Leigh
o. Last name: Bell
o. Nickname(s): Hel
o. Birthday: October 29
o. Height: 5'6"
o. Hair color: Dark brown
o. Eye color: Brown
o. Glasses: Yes
o. Contacts: Yeah but I can't wear them… gonna get my eyes lasered though. Go me. ^^
o. Braces: Used to have them
o. Hair short or long: Shoulder length
o. Where you were born: New Orleans, LA
o. Where you now live: New Bern, NC
o. Astrology sign: Scorpio
o. Chinese zodiac sign: Damned if I know… probably something stupid like the chicken. No offense to the chickens or anything.
o. Nationality: United Statesian (like it makes any less sense than American :P)
o. Bad habits: None, I am practically perfect in every way. ^^ Ok so I may have a bit of a narcissistic thing going. ^^
o. Piercing: Ears
o. Tattoos: And have my mother rub my skin off with a scouring brush? No thank you.
ETC.
o. Are you still in school: I wish
o. Current grade:
o. Favorite grade: Senior year of highschool
o. Worst grade: Errr… damned if I know
o. Favorite teacher: Mr. Christian
o. Worst teacher: Mrs. Holland
o. Favorite subject: Creative Writing
o. Worst subject: Economics of Money and Banking
o. Buy or bring lunch: Buy
o. School sports: Played Tennis and Basketball
o. High school: St. Catherine's
o. School activities: Quiz bowl, Fed Challenge, Theatre Club, err… I know there were more… kindof slacked off in college though
o. Popular or what: Or what
o. Favorite memory: Too many to recollect
o. Worst memory: Errr… *shrug*
FAVORITE
o. Number: 4
o. Clothing brand: Why? You gonna give me some?
o. Shoes: See above
o. Saying: "Life is like a box of nuets. Sometimes you get what you want, sometimes it leads you right over a cliff."

o. TV show: X-Files… Friends… both are gone… *cries*
o. Sport: Equestrian
o. Vegetable: Lima Beans
o. Fruit: Cantelope!
o. Movie: The Princess Bride
o. Actress: *shrug*
o. Actor: Orlando Bloom… soooooooo pretty
o. Candy: The chocolate kind
o. Gum: The chewy kind
o. Scent: The yummy smelling kind
o. Candy bar: Crunch
o. Ice cream: Chocolate chip cookie dough
o. Color: Deep red, wine red
o. Season: Spring
o. Holiday: Christmas
o. Band: Err… lots
o. Singer: Ani Difranco
o. Music: Lots
o. Fast song: "Boom Boom Boom" by Vengaboys
o. Slow song: *shrug*
o. Thing in your room: Books ^^
o. Place to be: 2000 ft back in a cave
o. Radio station: One that plays music I like ^^
o. TV channel: Fine Living channel
o. Junk food: Chocolate!!
o. Fast food place: Chick-fil-A
o. Restaurant: Dick and Jenny's
o. Shape: Wha?
o. Time of day: Midnight
o. Country: Czech Republic
o. State: Montana
o. Boy's name: Aiden
o. Girl's name: Lana
o. Mall: Wha?
o. Video game: Don't play them
o. Shampoo: Herbal Essences
o. Car: Lexus SC 430
o. Music video: Tunak Tunak Tun heehee
o. Swear word: fuck, cause it can be used as so many parts of speech
o. Month: May
o. Song: Ummm…
o. Scary movie: Ummm… nothing scares me. The Ring had me freaked for a while though…
o. Team: Saints!
PRIVATE LIFE
o. Boyfriend/girlfriend: No *sigh*
o. Crush: Oooh I love crushes… but uhh.. guess not.
o. Do you love anyone right now: Define love
o. Have you ever been in love: See above
o. Ever had sex: No
o. How many hearts have you broken: At least one
o. How many people broke your heart: No one, I'm cold ^^
o. So what's your bf/gf like: You don't pay attention much do you
o. Do you go more by looks or personality: Personality. I'm not shallow. I swear. Ok maybe a bit. Or a lot. I don't know. Personality counts way more though
o. Ever kiss a friend: Not that I recall…
o. Are you still friends: Maybe you should start taking notes?
o. Do you smoke: Nope
o. How about weed: Tried it… burns like hell
o. Acid: That was random…
o. How about a little ecstasy: Nope, still have all my brain left
o. Crack, heroin, anything else: Nu uh
FRIENDS
o. Best friend(s): Hmmm… Kris, Sarah, Mer… lots of people
o. Known longest: Mer
o. Wish you talk to more than you do: Mer, Katie B
o. How many friends do you think you have: Lots
o. How many do you actually hang out with: Less than lots
o. Who drives you insane: Kris XP right back at ya ^^
o. Ever lose a good friend because you took it to the next level: No
o. Craziest: Mer
o. Loudest: Hah… Sarah
o. Shyest: Ummm definitely not Sarah ^^
o. Can always make you laugh: Mer
o. Best eyes: No clue
o. Best name: Sarah Ann (it means Princess Grace, how cool is that?)
o. Most athletic: Katie B
o. Shortest: No clue
o. Best singing voice: Maggie, her sister is in the Opera… she's probably on her way there too
o. Skinniest: Katie B.
o. Nicest: I'm getting bored…
o. Best personality: more bored
o. Biggest drug user: still bored
o. Alcoholic: ta ta…
HAVE YOU EVER
o. Flashed someone: No.
o. Told the person you liked how you felt: Sorta
o. Gotten really REALLY wasted: *shifty eyes*
o. Gone to jail/juvenile detention: No
o. Skateboarded: No
o. Skinny dipped: Sorta
o. Stolen anything from a store: No
o. Kissed someone of the same sex: No.
o. Been to a concert: Yes
o. Been to another country: Yes
o. Talked back to an adult: Sweet little ole me? Neeeeeever
o. Given money to some homeless person: Yes, I'm nice like that
o. Cried to get out of trouble: No
o. Kissed a friend's brother/sister: No
THE LAST THING
o. You ate: Wheat Thins
o. You drank: Michelob Light
o. The last place you went: The Bike Depot
o. Last thing you bought: Bottle of water
o. Last person you saw: My mother
o. Last person you talked to: My mother
o. Last song you heard: Love Shack. It's all over the bloody radio right now.</lj-cut>